Ndamukong Suh may be the one who flipped out in Detroit's game against Green Bay

Ndamukong Suh may be the one who flipped out in Detroit's game against Green Bay, taking a cheap shot at a Packers offensive lineman, but he's not the only who needs help.

From the moment the Lions defensive tackle burst onto the scene last season with a powerful preseason takedown of Cleveland quarterback Jake Delhomme, his approach to the game – and more importantly, his integrity – has been questioned.

From the media to the fans to the NFL itself, "Is Suh a dirty player? Is Suh a dirty player?" has usurped "What is the meaning of life?" as the grand question facing our entire species.

It's as if our collective mentality can't operate without crystallizing the issue into a single word that may or may not accurately reflect reality. The important thing is, "Hey, we've got our word to describe any and everything Suh ever does for the remainder of his pro football career.

Look, there's no way I'm going to defend Suh's attack on Evan Dietrich-Smith. He clearly pushed his helmet into the ground and kicked toward him as he was removing himself from the situation, as he put it. Even less defensible was his half-hearted apology and post-game explanation that had a sense of him peeing on on all of our heads while assuring us it was raining.

We don't know what was going on in the trenches, though. As any football fan knows, there's a lot of stuff that goes on amongst the mountainous men that would make our nose hairs curl.

"It's all the time," said veteran defensive tackle Corey Williams, when asked how often things occur that make him want to retaliate. "Just about every play, you're going to get hit in the back, you're going to get held, you're going to get cheap-shotted. But like they always say, the second guy to do it is always the one to get caught."

Suh may or may not have been antagonized by Dietrich-Smith or his Packers teammates. We don't know if there was anything said or done beforehand to draw a reaction from Suh. Green Bay was obviously aware of his temper; it's certainly not a stretch to think the players thought they could benefit from some taunts or perhaps some jabs.

First, Dietrich-Smith's helmet wasn't "smashed into the turf." Pushed three times? Yes. And Suh didn't stomp him. Trust me, Suh didn't stomp him. If the 6-foot-5, 300-pounder did, it would have been a LOT uglier.

It may have even been enough to draw legendary New York native and Packers tough guy Andrew Quarless from his perch on the sidelines. The 6-foot-4, 250-pounder said Suh was "lucky I wasn't on the field. Lucky. I'm a New Yorker. I don't go for that stuff."

(Uhh, OK, Andy. I'm sure your unmatched self-control was the first thing Ndamukong gave thanks for before enjoying his late Thanksgiving dinner.)

Now, none of my clarification is meant to defend Suh. His behavior was out of bounds; completely unacceptable and the NFL should punish him with a fine and a suspension, regardless of his second, more acceptable (though more contrived), apology on Facebook.

It's just to point out how skewed our minds can be – we see what we see, reality be damned. You don't have to be extreme in your description to believe Suh was out of line and should be punished. If his true aim was to gore Dietrich-Smith, he would have attacked him far more aggressively.

These aren't the awesomely violent actions of a maniacal sociopath who is hopelessly spiraling out of control, as some would have you believe. More accurately, I think they're the actions of a supremely gifted, intelligent, but quasi-narcissistic athlete, who plays on the edge.

It's up to head coach Jim Schwartz, the Detroit Lions and the NFL to make sure Suh understands where he's going wrong, and more importantly, to put a stop to it. That doesn't mean he doesn't get to commit a penalty again.

Occasional overaggressive play – a facemask, a roughing the passer, a push out of bounds – is going to happen as one of the NFL's best defensive players, who has an old-school, chip-on-the-shoulder, play-to-the-whistle-and-not-one-second-before approach.

Even giving him the benefit of the doubt – and we're not – Suh struck a devastating blow only to his own team with his efforts on Thanksgiving. The Lions had just accomplished the monumental task of turning away the Packers in the red zone by holding them to a field goal. Detroit would have faced a 10-point deficit. Instead, Green Bay got its touchdown, and another one on its next series, to end the game halfway through the third quarter.

"He's got to learn to control his temper," Williams said. "There are going to be times when people cheap-shot you. They always catch the second guy; they might not catch the first one. That's just something you have to learn in this league. If they hit you, knock you down, you can always get them back on the next play. ...

The NFL itself has its own problems as it tries to market a violent, masculine sport as one of finesse – one that appeals to everyone. Only time will tell how successful it will be.

Because of the collective nature of media and fans, those two entities will not change. It's something Suh needs to truly understand. He's made little attempt to, so far. He's shown contempt for what he considers unfair treatment by the media. But it makes no sense to criticize the media for not really knowing him, then admitting in the next breath he'll never let anyone get close to him.

In the end, maybe this is an incident which will help Suh understand if he's going to play on edge, he'd better make sure there's a pretty strong guard rail to keep him from going over.

Former college teammate says Ndamukong Suh's anger issues were apparent at Nebraska Copyright 2011 MLive.com.