Hold the croutons. She's on a no-carb diet. (Walter Sassard/The CW)
Shannon is a role model. Shannon has standards. Shannon will not pose in underwear.
Shannon, finally, is gone. (Ding, dong …)
Look, I’m fine with her stance and standards and OMG BORING PERSONALITY. But the judges were right. How did this shoot — lingerie that looks like a swimsuit — differ from any of the barely-there photos she’s done in the past? Because of the word Jay Manuel used?
Ridiculous. I was more offended by the olive oil.
After some lunch and wine and Angelea’s mini-rant against Dominique, the girls are visited at home by Andre Leon Talley. It’s sort of like a unicorn showing up in your backyard. He’s there to tell them they’re going to Greece! Cue the broken dishes and togas and leaf crowns and what other Greek stereotype can we think of?
Also, cue the cheap models-on-a-plane graphic we’ve seen for years. Photoshop is fun.
There’s no time for fun, however. The girls are whisked off the plane and into a press conference with really good actors Greek dignitaries and media folk. They must each give a speech incorporating a little bit about themselves and a few Greek words. LAURA IS DYSLEXIC OH NO. SHANNON HAS STANDARDS. Angelea has to pee. And what’s with all the wind?
Houston girl Allison wins again, and I’m almost sure it will be her and Lisa in the finale. The last girls standing will wear dresses they helped create. And by create, I mean talked to the actual designer for a whopping five minutes.
Mmm. Salad. (Walter Sassard/The CW)
In keeping with this cycle’s absolutely ridiculous themes, the photo shoot involves the girls posing in lingerie/swimsuits inside a giant Greek salad. (Theo’s, anyone? Because I’m suddenly hungry.)
Shannon balks at the wardrobe and refuses to do the shoot. OF COURSE SHE DOES. But she also doesn’t offer a good reason, other than the word “lingerie.” Why couldn’t she just cover up with strategically placed blocks of feta?
Angelea and Dominique look fantastic. Laura is sick and attempts an olive oil cure inside the bowl, pouring it over her head. (Or is it a hair treatment?) Lisa does her thing, but still looks miffed during panel that she isn’t winning any challenges or best photos. Chin up, girlfriend. Slow and steady wins the race.
Despite Tyra’s half-hearted appeal about branding, the other judges are clearly over Shannon. I am, too. Why would you even agree to do the show, knowing that the judges know you won’t pose in lingerie? It was bound to come up sometime.
Wet noodle, wilted lettuce, whatever. I’m just glad she’s gone. Only five girls are left. Who do you think is going to win? Vote below.
ANTM All-Stars airs at 8 p.m. Wednesdays on the CW.source
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