Whitney Cummings

Everything about Whitney has become shrug-worthy. There is no longer a reason to even work up the energy to bombard it with negative criticism.

This week’s episode, entitled “Christmas Is Cummings,” put the icing on the cake. Not only was it a very bland holiday episode, but it was also a terribly boring meet-the-crazy-parents episode. I’ve praised previous shows for putting twists on expectations, but Cummings and her crew just follow the path that every sitcom before it has taken, but somehow they do it worse.

Every joke seemed like it was an inside joke and was written for a specific group of friends. One early line in this show was when Whitney and Alex were discussing her family’s holiday memories, and she recalled how her mother and aunt were fighting so she played in her room “rubbing Barbie and Ken’s smooth parts together.” While we all understand what she means, it comes off like this really did happen to the writer and they told the story to a thunderous applause one night at a bar and thought it would be great to put into a show. Well, it wasn’t a good idea.

It took me episodes to discover why this show just wasn’t that funny. And that’s it. Whitney is a show that Cummings and her drinking buddies thought of one night and said, “I think that’d be a great show. Let’s pitch it to some networks.” Well, Whit, I’ve thought of five sitcoms this week, but you don’t see me shoving the unpolished plots down millions of viewers’ throats.

While I may seem incredibly harsh towards this show, it’s only because I’ve defended it in the past. I’ve always said it was bad, but I said that there are some good parts to the show. There are funny moments. Sometimes I actually do think Whitney is bearable. But because those come too rarely, I have to break up with Whitney.

For a show that’s about relationships I feel it is fair to say that it’s her and not me. I tried, but this needs to be a give-and-take relationship. If I excuse sloppy writing, could you at least try and fix it sometimes? Not even a full episode, just one scene. I hate to do this before the holidays, but you’re a big girl, Whitney. You can handle it.

I do wish Whitney Cummings and the rest of the cast (especially Chris D’Elia) good luck because I want this to be an amicable break-up. I’d say we could still be friends, but I want you to work on your own chemistry before we can start to hang out casually.