10 Dumb Sex And Relationship Studies

story: TruTV.com

1.Study: Interacting with women makes men dumb

What it determined: Researchers at Radboud University of Nijmegen in The Netherlands, which is totally not a fake university, found that men tended to have difficulty performing cognitive tasks after socializing with a member of the opposite sex.

Why it's dumb: As obvious studies go, this one is up there with "people sometimes bend the truth online" and "chickens don't like it when you chop off their heads." Did time and money really need to be spent on determining that men get distracted when a woman bats her eyelashes in their general direction? And by the study's logic, wouldn't the male researchers also have had difficulty focusing while in the presence of their female subjects? Clearly this experiment backfired, a la Weird Science. Why should we believe the findings of scientists whose brains were addled by an army of sultry, possibly supernaturally-powered women?

[psychologytoday.com]
2.Study: Twitter users have shorter relationships

What it determined: According to a survey conducted by the dating website OkCupid, people who use Twitter every day tend to have briefer relationships. Meanwhile, a study conducted by Dumb As A Blog found that people who still use Friendster are adorable.

Why it's dumb: A spokesperson for OkCupid said, "Unfortunately, we have no way to tell who's dumping who here; whether the Twitterati are more annoying or just more flighty than everyone else." So there's really no proof that Twitter is the cause of short-term relationships and not, say, being young and/or avoiding commitment. If we're looking to blame social media on the downfall of long-term relationships, the culprit should definitely be Foursquare. Once someone becomes "Mayor" of a place, they always move on to the next conquest. So many discarded badges…

[theweek.com]
3.Study: Attractive men have long ringer fingers

What it determined: According to researchers at the University of Geneva in Switzerland, the length of a man's ring finger is linked to facial attractiveness. This is known as "2D: 4D," which is a ratio that compares the length of a man's right index finger and his ring finger, and is actually not the title of the next 3D Fast and the Furious movie.

Why it's dumb: The study determined that the longer the ring finger, the more likely the man is to have a rugged, caveman-like face. Right, because women always go for the caveman look. It's not like some of our most popular male celebrities are non-threatening, baby-faced types or anything. This study gets a big middle finger from us.

[livescience.com]
4.Study: Beautiful women can be hazardous to a man's health

What it determined: Researchers at the University of Valencia in Spain found that one-on-one contact with an attractive female raises stress hormones to dangerously high levels. A group of 84 male students were tasked with solving a Sudoku puzzle while a gorgeous woman was in the room. Some men were so stressed out, their cortisol hormone levels reached that of a person diving out of a plane.

Why it's dumb: Who did the researchers bring in for this study, Sofia Vergara? Just how hard up are these guys that they can't solve a simple Sudoku while in the presence of a pretty face? Unless the woman was causing the guy's heart to burst out of his chest like a Tex Avery cartoon wolf, there's nothing proven here that a cold shower can't fix.

[ctv.ca]
5.Study: Women thrive on romantic uncertainty

What it determined: A crack tag team of researchers from Virginia University and Harvard found that women were more drawn to the Facebook profiles of men who showed little interest in them.

Why it's dumb: Do we really need a study to prove that playing hard to get is the way to a person's heart? We learned that lesson in the second grade. In fact, we're starting to think that Carrie Abramowitz isn't coming to our birthday party.

[yourtango.com]
6.Study: Divorce affects kids' math scores

What it determined: A study conducted by a doctoral candidate at the University of Wisconsin found that "children of divorce tend to lag behind in math test scores and interpersonal skills." Because we all know kids who are good at math have zero trouble in social situations.

Why it's dumb: Look, divorce is rough on kids. We're not arguing that sad fact. But why does divorce get all the blame? It's given us so much! "Kramer Vs. Kramer." "Heartburn." Every other movie on the Lifetime Movie Channel. You know what's more dangerous to math scores? Video games. It's like Japan keeps pumping out "Pokemon" games just so that American kids won't even crack the top 20 on the worldwide math score rankings.

[usatoday.com]
7.Study: Married women are more likely to get bored than single women

What it determined: A psychologist at Stony Brook University studying couples in long-term relationships found that boredom sets in after seven years of wedded bliss.

Why it's dumb: Yes, marriage is boring. You have to sleep with the same person forever. We get it. Do we need a team of researchers to tell us what hack comedians have been saying for decades? Did Andrew Dice Clay conduct this one?

[usatoday.com]
8.Study: Romantic comedies set unrealistic relationship goals

What it determined: In a poll of 1,000 Australians, half said that romantic comedies have affected the way they view relationships. One in four surveyed said the movies set unrealistic goals, such as knowing what your partner is thinking, being expected to do things like get flowers, and other stuff that requires effort. Fun fact: the study was paid for by Warner Home Video. Nice job dragging the whole concept of "date movies" into the woods and shooting it execution-style, guys.

Why it's dumb: Wait, you're telling us that holding up a boombox outside of her window like a creepy stalker isn't the best way to win our ex-girlfriend back? And that a movie star who looks remarkably like Julia Roberts won't walk into our humble bookstore and fall head over heels in love? Next thing you'll tell us that Natalie Portman isn't really a fan of The Shins.

[usatoday.com]
9.Study: Beautiful women tend to marry ugly men

What it determined: A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that women who marry less attractive men tend to be happier in their marriages. The not-at-all stereotypical thinking behind the study is that men place more value on physical appearance while women prefer a stable, supportive spouse.

Why it's dumb: Before you pull your pockmarked self out of your nerd cave and go trolling for supermodels, it should be noted that other studies have shown that beautiful people tend to stick together, while uggos pair off and have hot mutant sex atop their action figure collections. There's no predicting who you'll fall in love with. Unless you're The Mentalist. That guy knows everything.

[msnbc.com]
10.Study: Semen reduces depression

What it determined: This highly controversial 2002 study, which found that college-age women who had unprotected sex tended to be happier, gets dredged up every few years by (male) researchers eager for a catchy headline. Most recently, the head of the American College of Surgeons cited the study in an essay suggesting that men give women the gift of their magic seed for Valentine's Day. Stay classy, American College of Surgeons.

Why it's dumb: So the study basically proves that sex makes people happy? No surprise there. But do we really need the whole creepy "semen is the new Prozac" angle? Anytime a study sounds like something The Situation would use as a pick-up line, it's safe to say the research is a tad suspect.

[newscientist.com]