Tonya Harding

The infamous Tonya Harding.Did y’all hear the news? Tonya harding is expecting a child. A baby boy. And I’d personally like to welcome her to the ranks of parenthood. Seeing as how StrollerDerby is a blog designed for parents, you never know. She could be reading. And just in case, I thought I’d offer her a little friendly advice when it comes to the first big parenting task she’ll take on: naming her child.

Look, Tonya’s past struggles with that Jeff Gillooly clown are well chronicled. That whole deal with Nancy Kerrigan and the steel rod, or whatever it was? Good thing that didn’t happen today. It could well have broken the internet. Then we’d be all beholden to Al Gore, of all people, to fix it. But I digress. My point is offer Tonya the following advice: I would avoid any name that might conjure up images of the past. So I’ve come up with 10 I think she should avoid.

Payne Harding — Given the image of Nancy wailing around screaming in pain as she screamed “Why?! Why?!” is forever etched into the retinas of all Americans, I’m recommending Tonya forgo Payne.